I Fell....

I fell hard just to lose
I fell fast just to be let down
I fell for you without worrys
I fell without the fear
I fell in love
And lost you because of it....

When....

When the wind blows I hear your voice
When the rain falls I feel you close
When the conscience lefts I see your smile
How I wish I could make it all come back....

Every Night I Lie In Bed....

Every night I lie in bed......
Wishing I still have you....
Wishing I was not such an ass...
Wishing I did not hurt you....
Wishing I had another chance to make things right....
Every night I lie in bed....
Looking at the pile of razors calling my name...
Looking at the handgun at the foot of my bed waiting for me to pull the trigger....
Looking at the endless amount of drugs wanting me to finish them off....
Looking at the list of deaths on my wall wondering which one I would choice....
Every night I lie in my bed...
Wanting you...
Wanting another chance...
Wanting you to believe me when I say "I'm sorry"...
Wanting you to be happy....
Every night I lie in bed awake waiting......
Waiting for my time to end......
:'<

The Hardest Thing....

Goodbye is hard...
But it is not the hardest thing...
What is harder is what goes with the goodbye....
Like:
Being able to say "I love you" whenever I want...
Being able to hold you tight when I'm with you....
Being able to kiss your beautiful lips when I see you....
Being able to tell you I'm worry about you...
Being able to hug you without looking over my shoulder....
Being able to tell you everthing no matter who is around....
Being able to not think about you when I'm alone...
Being able to hold your hand when I see close to you....
But the hardest thing of all is not getting use to what I can not do or what I can do...
It is not even you being with another guy...
Its....
Being without YOU.....