I Am The Addict

I look around and see people
Who are addicted to ecstacy
Or addicted to pornography
And I think that's not me

I listen and hear people
Talk about how alcohol is their vice
Or asking for marriage advice
And I say I don't have to think twice

I sit and try to help people
When I find the truth from the sky
I also look for that high
Everytime I feel like I should die

I find and tell people
I like the lonliness and rejection
I look for the anxiety and depression
I am addicted to the pain and desperation

100% Trust

I know how hard it is to trust someone 100%
It's easy to keep to myself 90% of the time
Since it feels like I  am already alone 80% of the time
I wish I could reach out 70% of time I am struggling
But how could when I feel like a bother 60% of the time
I am 50% honest with my troubles
I am 40% honest with myself
How do I trust someone else when I don't myself even 30% of times
20% of my troubles steams back to my pain
However, my pain is only 10% of who I am
I am ready to trust because God fails me 0% of times

I am here to tell you, I can be trusted 100%
Even if you have the urge to isolate 90% of the times
You are not alone, even if I am 80 miles away
You can reach out anytime even if it is 70 times in a day
You cannot be a bother if I focus on helping even 60% of the time already
Even if you only tell me 50% truths
Even if you are not ready to disclose 40% of the time
I will be anywhere in 30 mins
If it even relieves only 20% of your pain
I am all in for your friendship means 10 folds to me.
For God wants us to be a slave to 0 struggles.

Accountability

They say find accountability
But how do I find a trusting party

I am so tired the feeling of worthlessness
Everytime I hear your witness
Still I hear find accountability
But how do I find a trusting party

I am told "you're heart is so good"
But I think of things I didn't do what I could
Still I want to find accountability
But how do I find a trusting party

Then I hear the confession
And I feel the connection
I think I find accountability
Because I found a trusting party

Now I say find accountability
You just need to find your trusting party