I have a question for anyone who reads this have you ever done something you thought would be good but late you realized it was a huge mistake? Back a few years ago like forever ago if I allow myself to really think about I made a choice. Now before I explain this choice I made I want to started by saying I thought I would be able to turned the clock (not like travel back in time really just change my decision). The choice I made was to dump someone very close to me...ME...I was the guy I always really wanted to be, but I didn't, still don't know if that was what everyone wanted me to be. So, when I found a moment to leave and change I did. I changed everything about me that way I talked, dress, acted, walked, even my hobbies were not acceptable. The problem was I wasn't happy with who I was but I thought it was just because I was new that I would start to be happier once I grew accustom to the changes...the thing is I never did. I tried multiple times to go back but I couldn't then I found a girl who I fell hard and fast she was my first true love...for, she even gave me the curious to reopen start some of my old hobbies some of my escapes, she actually was the entire reason for me to open this account (I originally started off on LiveJournal but that never took) I started to feel, no, be more ME. But just a month..be is would have been out one year she left and took the part of me that was coming back into my life with her. I never got the reason to her leaving me and I know she "follows" me on here so maybe she could explain but that's not at all what I'm looking for. But I think the reason she left though it may not have been completely conscious was the fact that the transition to who I want to be and who I thought I had to be was hard and she had dealt with lots of my fighting not with her but myself I feel like she was happy anymore so I neglected her more times then I thought...I'm sorry if you are that girl...now what is next is not about her but about the break up I didn't to the old me...and is the breakup to the new me as you read just remember no matter how you think or what anyone says, you are PERFECT just the way you are, don't change for anyone....because once you realize that I am right you will have the hardest time returning to the TRUE you!
You have ruined me...
You have taken everything I have ever work for away....
Sometime I wish I never meant you, I wish I never lied my eyes on you...
The worst part of it all I wish we were still one...
Because without you my life has been empty and lonesome...
I don't believe in me anymore I don't believe in myself...
I need you back I'm my life..
I need to be me again...
I need to be ALIVE again!
